After Dark

MiamiHerald.com

Posted on Fri, Mar. 07, 2008 

Sometimes, a Loose Cannon can be a good thing 

By GABE BERMAN 

My girlfriend has a friend who no doubt uses a megaphone when she talks on her cell phone. When they're on the phone together, I can clearly hear both sides of the conversation as if the two of them are sitting next to me in the car.
With no choice but to listen in, my girlfriend's friend said her favorite local band was playing at a bar in Deerfield Beach. She couldn't remember the name of the bar but said that it rhymed with ''squirrels.'' I do respect her taste in music so I rummaged around the Internet for nearly three hours until I found the venue.

It turned out to be Clamsters, which of course rhymes with hamsters, not squirrels. Clamsters Sports Bar & Grill is at 1391 S. Military Trail and the name of the band is Loose Cannon.

Bar bands are typically ignored by everyone other than the drummer's girlfriend and maybe a few guys from New Jersey if Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive is played. The bartender may applaud feebly in mocking appreciation from time to time, but mostly, large, live bands grab as much attention as a rusty old juke box. This isn't so with Loose Cannon.

While no one in the band actually acts like a Loose Cannon, the five members combine to form an explosive mass of energy and most in attendance, including myself, were completely captivated from their opening measure of music.

All Apologies by Nirvana is the song they opened with and even the most devoted Kurt Cobain fans would have been impressed by Evan Rosenthal's vocals. His voice is perfectly gruff although his proficiency as a rhythm guitarist almost overshadows his singing skills.

Jackie Valasquez is the other vocalist and she's a comfortable, confident singer. Standing with a drink in hand, she comes across as a veteran rock star gracing a random hole-in-the-wall with her presence. Her ferocious version of You Oughta Know makes Alanis Morissette's original seem a bit timid.

When The Who's bass player John Entwistle died, some of his soul might have been absorbed by Tom Magri, Loose Cannon's equivalent. From his atomic fingers, funky, low frequency improvisations flow.

Jeremy Lechner is the hard hitting, inventive drummer and I can't help but hate him. I dabble with the drums myself and he makes what I know to be deeply difficult look easy like Sunday morning. Mark D'Agosta is a guitar master. Most six-string shredders copy lick for lick from their heroes but Mark uses the album versions of solos simply as starting points for his own musical explorations.

If you're exploring Clamsters for the first time, it's not slimy or smelly or even a raw bar. It's a spotless, spacious sports bar with TVs suspended from the vaulted ceiling, football banners, neon beer signs, hoods of racing cars and sports memorabilia hanging on the walls.

The servers and bartenders are incredibly attentive. Megan, the sweet but witty waitress, was armed with a refill the moment the last molecule of Diet Coke passed through the straw to my lips.

Come for karaoke on Tuesdays and the Kill the Keg party on Wednesdays. For Biker Night on Saturday, enjoy drink specials, live music, giveaways and plenty of parking for your hog (or in my case, a four-wheel, four-cylinder jalopy). Order discounted buckets of beer on Sundays during NASCAR races.

I usually sneak out of a bar like a ninja in the night after a band's first set but with Loose Cannon on stage, I stayed for all four. Click to www.LooseCannonKix.com for a schedule of upcoming gigs so you won't have to miss their psychedelic, acid-rock version of Come Together by the Beatles, a ska sizzler of Nena's 99 Red Balloons and a spot-on emulation of Whole Lotta Love by Led Zep.

Just make sure you don't sit near my girlfriend's friend when she's on the phone because you won't be able to hear the music.

ON THE HORIZON

• If you have a mustache, you'll get in Cheers free (not kidding) Friday and Saturday to see SeKond Nature; 10 p.m.; $5 cover for mustache-free patrons. Ladies aren't totally left out -- you'll drink free 8 to 10 p.m. Saturday. Cheers is at 941 E. Cypress Creek Rd., Fort Lauderdale.

• Throwdown is on stage at Revolution, 200 W. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, at 6 p.m. Saturday; $14.





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